i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize