Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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