my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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