someone threw a dead crab at me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
