I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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