she takes plan B like it's going out of style
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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