sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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