I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
