but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
