i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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