Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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