i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I had to cum in my sink.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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