Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
