That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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