In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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