I got chris browned last night
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Congratulations! We have a period
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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