it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
