I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize