i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
