I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
