It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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