my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
