I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
