I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize