Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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