38 yer olds are good kisserssss
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
