i just google imaged poop.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
