She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
