But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
