that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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