tell your sister to shave her snatch
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize