belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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