Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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