I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
bring money and cleavage
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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