That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
