I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
