We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
