Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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