Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
smell my finger.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
