you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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