what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
