Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
