I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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