he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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