There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
