if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
