YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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