i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
