so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
