At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
