I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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