I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
