Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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