when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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