If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
