12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
