After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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