So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
