Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
All I want is dick and wine.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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