Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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